Posted by
Gayle Plato-Besley, M. Ed. on Monday, January 07, 2008 1:58:12 AM
Osama bin Laden with Cartman, and Hillary Clinton being informed she has a nuclear device inside her body on "South Park" (Comedy Central)
By Gayle Plato-Besley
Why is it that the creators of South Park, 
Matt Stone and Trey Parker, understand politics, national defense, and social problems better than a majority of our Presidential candidates? While I grant South Park is lewd, it's also razor-edged satire of a the highest vibration. It is spot on and generationally accurate. I admit it- I watch it with glee.
As for the candidates, I watch them too, and I feel ill. I like Mike Huckabee's aw shucks charm, and Barack Obama has a very good stylist. Mitt Romney has better hair than John Edwards, and even Hillary Clinton proves makeovers are a good thing. But really, do any of these people have any CLUE about keeping this country safe?
Not one of them seems to know the geography of the Middle East, and they go on TV gaffe-happy. Each talking of basic aspects of international politics with all of the eloquence of Britney Spears. Hillary seems to confuse a flight into Kosovo with a trip to Costco in terms of danger, and doesn't know the voting rules of Musharraf's Pakistani election. Also, Obama wants to bomb Pakistan if he finds any leadership sympathetic to Islamic extremists. Does he realize using that criteria would force a bomb drop on much of the Middle East--so why start with an ally? Please someone help Clinton, Obama, Huckabee, and even Romney with current events, the basic map, and historical facts of Pakistan and India at least? But really, could someone give Fred Thompson a quad-shot latte and ask him to put down the proverbial banjo?
The Milton-Bradley Paradox plagues us if we don't get this group of buffoons away from the gaming table of spin and babble. Playing Risk and Stratego don't count as experience with military strategies, and the G7 isn't a called turn in Battleship.
Tonight, I watched the Republicans and all I could say is that John McCain SPANKED the other candidates. Now, if only McCain can get on South Park-- he'll win this thing. Sadly, I think he's a bit less conservative than we'd all like, but I do not think anyone else can win. He said tonight that he can get Osama Bin Laden and that type of confidence resounds and reverberates with the country.
"Human Intelligence Capability"- it's the little black dress of the next election my friends, and John McCain said it at the FOX debate. Think Illegal Immigration and run to the border if you will, but underlying even that hot tamale is the need to listen in, waterboard, and get cozy with potential enemy combatants.
So the true PARADOX- Middle America loves Milton-Bradley games and thinks strategy is a succinct function of determining Good, Evil, and how to win. Strategy is a great coach on game day, four quarters with referees who cannot see the play properly. We instant replay it all and look for the offsides. Who is directly telling America that security is the story? Islamic Extremists are not going to back down but need time to rally and organize. GOOD INTELLIGENCE and SPEEDY ATTACK ON THE OFFENSE are good game-plan practices.
John McCain is the only one with a convincing message of safety first. He'll slip on his sound bites of vigorous desire to protect us all. He is in the shadow of Barry Goldwater who pushed strength on a scared country living in emotional bomb shelters. The "Daisy Ad" played on those fears and squashed Goldwater the President.
Now we live with really scary times of the Global Jihadist looming at the door. Yet, the average man is more angry than scared and ready to fight back. We want the good fight but we want honesty: to be told how to win by a man who is in charge and confident.
Can Cartman run for President?
- Gayle Plato-Besley